All by myself.....

Well....I'm here...all alone. The kids are gone to visit grandparents for about 10 days and Guliano is at work all day. I'm sitting here....on the couch at 2:40pm in my PJs...with my glass of rootbeer and feeling all lonely. A la Bridget Jones.

I can't believe how quiet the house is. There is literally NO NOISE but the click of the keyboard as I type. To be honest, I had thought that perhaps we had a noiseless keyboard....as I had never heard it before. I guess we're just too noisy on a regular basis to even hear it.

I had big plans to clean the house, read my emails & play on the internet all day, sleep in....but on Monday.....I slept until 10am....and woke to find that Guliano had:
-gotten up, fed the pets
-took Bugzy for a walk
-went to the gym
-came home, ate
-did a load of laundry
-left for work...all before 7:30am.

Thats not all this sick early bird did. He also came back from work, and left me a take out coffee on the counter sometime between 9-10am.

So, feeling like a lazy-ass...I got up, drank my coffee & cleaned the house. Without the kids here.....instead of an all-day job...this took 45 mins. OMFG.....45 mins. When the kids are home, it takes all day!!!!!!!!! So much for my big plan to clean the house all week. It was done in in less than an hour. I decided to do my computer time.....again....an all day mission with the kids home. But with no one interupting me, I read my emails, read my blogs, checked out my sites...i was done in 30 minutes.

This was MONDAY. I was done everything I had planned to do all week....all within 1 hour and 15 mins of my waking up. What the hell was I going to do with myself all freaking week????

So Tuesday came and went in painstaking slowness.....and its now Wednesday. I now understand why some housewives are closet alcoholics. If I wasn't pregnant, I'm sure I'd be drinking here by myself all day.

I know, I know.....I should get out and do something right?? Whatev....you don't live in Fort Qu'Appelle. Once you browsed the drug store.....there's nothing else to do and I already did that 4 years ago.

I guess I'll liven things up around here & turn on the radio & have a shower.

Protector of my family

I saved my family from imminent death. An intruder entered our home while I was in the basement doing laundry & I came up to find my kids running & screaming. It took me about 3 minutes to find the intruder. Thanks to the trusty help of our cat Joe. Joe had already assessed the situation and set out to kill the intruder.

When I saw it....I wanted to faint. I felt my blood run cold....I wanted to run & scream. It was the biggest scariest moth I had ever seen in a long time.

But being the only adult in the household, it was my duty to suck up my fear & do my best to kill this massive beast.

My adrenaline was pumping & I had the chills. Every nerve was twitching as I prowled the house slowly with my flyswatter. I saw the beast fluttering against the kitchen wall. He was prepping himself for attack. I just knew it.

I slowly inched my way into the kitchen and slid along the farther wall, all the while keeping the beast in view. Brave Joe was jumping up against the wall, ready to help with the kill. I got close enough to attempt a strike. I took a deep breath, set my nerves on edge & reached out with a swat.

OMFG....he knew it was coming, before I could even react, this demon started DIVE BOMBING at my head. I knew he was going to try to kill me by diving into my hair. A chill ran through my body and I let out a scream. I started hitting my head with the flyswatter & running around in circles screaming and shaking my head trying to dislodge this demon from my hair.

The kids opened the bedroom door, took one look at me and screamed then slammed the door shut again. It was too much for our cat Joe and he took off running down the stairs to hide in the basement. Bugzy, our dog, was barking up a storm......dying to be let in to lend a hand.

I could feel it trying to ensnare itself in my hair & doing its best to kill me by fluttering me to death. I kept on with the smacking myself on the head all over and shaking my hair as fast as I could, trying to save myself. If it got me....the kids would be next.

Finally I saw it fall to the floor. I let out another scream and ran to bathroom and did my heebie-jeebie dance. Since this was a near death experience.....one dance wouldn't do. This event required a 5 minute shudder & heebie jeebie dance. I pulled off my clothes......because we all know....moths like to hide in clothes....I knew I had seen it fall to the floor....but these suckers are sneaky....it could have come back to life & jumped on my back and crawled down my top as I ran for the safety of the bathroom. I stood there nekked, gave my hair one more shake just to be sure...and used the brush to lift my clothes and give them a quick shake out. After I reassured myself that the killer moth didn't hitch a ride into the bathroom with me, I put on a towel and slowly opened the door. I slowly walked back to the kitchen a took a deep breath & took a look around the fridge to see if it was still on the floor.

Thank gawd. Joe had got his bearings back and had come back up the stairs to help and was now feasting on the dead intruder. Bless his heart. I would not have to pick it now. He had saved me from that final torture.

I informed the kids that we were all now safe again & I felt the pride starting to fill me, the pride one feels after saving others. I smiled at them, waiting for them to exclaim their gratitude for me saving our lives....the only thing they said to me was: Mom, where are your clothes??

So much for the thanks for saving their lives.